Dominant, submissive and switch roles in consensual BDSM are not signs of mental illness or psychological damage. Large surveys in the Netherlands and Spain show that people who choose these roles within a negotiated relationship remain comparable to the general public in psychological health, and on several indicators they fare somewhat better. Role choice tracks with certain personality traits: dominants score higher on interpersonal dominance, but they show no empathy difference from submissives and switches. These conclusions align with findings published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Many couples, from Tehran to Toronto, carry a quieter question: what does this role say about my personality? The scientific answer is calmer than the fears.
What Do Dominant, Submissive and Switch Mean, and How Common Is Each Role?
In the language of consensual BDSM, a dominant is a person who takes control within an agreed scene, a submissive is someone who consciously hands control over, and a switch moves between the two depending on partner, mood, or situation. All three rest on explicit agreement and the right to stop.
In Jansen et al. (2021), which drew on 279 members of the BDSM community, 25.4 percent identified as dominant, 38 percent as submissive, and 36.6 percent as switch. The researchers note that switches are a group often excluded from quantitative research.
A Finnish sample of 8,137 people found that 38 percent reported an interest in BDSM (Paarnio, 2023).
Quotable passage: In a sample of 279 BDSM community members, roughly 37 percent identified as switch (Jansen et al., J Sex Med, 2021).
This finding is consistent with Journal of Sexual Medicine research documenting the diversity of roles in consensual BDSM.
In the submissive role, handing over control is a conscious choice that rests on agreement and the right to stop — Photo: Karen_Nadine / Pixabay
Is an Interest in BDSM Roles a Sign of Psychological Harm?
An older assumption held that a wish to dominate or submit grows out of a psychological wound. Newer data do not support that assumption.
Wismeijer and van Assen (2013) compared 902 people involved in BDSM with 434 controls. The BDSM group showed lower neuroticism, higher extraversion, openness, and conscientiousness, less rejection sensitivity, and higher subjective well-being; only agreeableness was lower. The authors concluded that BDSM may be thought of as recreational leisure rather than an expression of psychopathology.
A large Spanish replication with 1,907 participants (Lecuona et al., 2025) found the same pattern: higher secure attachment, conscientiousness, openness, and well-being, alongside lower insecure attachment, rejection sensitivity, neuroticism, and agreeableness.
Quotable passage: In two independent Dutch (902 participants) and Spanish (1,907 participants) samples, people involved in BDSM showed lower neuroticism and higher well-being than comparison groups (Wismeijer, 2013; Lecuona, 2025).
Both studies were online and cross-sectional, so they do not show that BDSM improves mental health, only that this interest is not tied to psychological harm. This reading fits the growing consensus in sexual medicine.
How Do Roles Relate to Personality, Attachment and Sexual Satisfaction?
In the Jansen study, the mean interpersonal dominance score was 61.44 for dominants, 53.99 for switches, and 49.41 for submissives. Dominants scored higher, but not markedly elevated; submissives and switches remained in the average range relative to a normative sample. No empathy differences emerged across the three roles. The authors suggested these traits are probably not prominent in everyday life.
A survey of 3,310 young adults aged 18 to 30 in China (Li, 2024) found no significant difference in attachment styles between BDSM practitioners and non-practitioners. Within the BDSM group, secure and avoidant attachment were associated with dominance, while submissives showed higher separation anxiety. The author stressed that these data do not show attachment drives role choice.
Sexual satisfaction was examined in an Italian study by Botta et al. (2019) with 266 BDSM participants—141 men and 125 women—and 200 controls. Dominant and switch groups reported more satisfaction and fewer concerns about sexuality than both the general population and the submissive group. Role was the only significant predictor of sexual satisfaction. The snowball sample was not representative.
Quotable passage: Dominants score higher on interpersonal dominance, but are equal to submissives and switches in empathy (Jansen et al., 2021).
These findings are consistent with the summary of research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. [needs further research: longitudinal research on role stability over time is still limited.]
What Does Psychoanalysis Say About Switching Between Dominance and Submission, and When Is Professional Help Useful?
Freud anticipated the switch data. In Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality, he wrote that the active and passive forms of this desire usually coexist in one person: “A sadist is always at the same time a masochist” (Freud, 1905, Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality, SE 7). Only one side, in his view, tends to be more strongly developed. Psychoanalytically, a fixed role reflects one side of an inner tension, not the whole picture.
Clinicians often observe a contrast between bedroom role and everyday role among Iranian clients: a manager who decides all day finds relief in surrendering control. The gap between this wish and family expectations sometimes produces shame, which informed conversation can reduce.
Professional support becomes worthwhile when a role is no longer freely chosen: one partner may tolerate a role to preserve the relationship, a safe word may go unobserved, or shame after an encounter may linger for days. A kink-aware professional offers a safer space for these conversations.
Quotable passage: From Freud’s view, the active and passive forms of this desire coexist in one person, and only one becomes more prominent (Freud, 1905, SE 7).
This psychoanalytic view aligns with empirical data on the prevalence of switch roles.
A switch is someone who takes the dominant role at some times and the submissive role at others, depending on partner or situation. In Jansen et al. (2021), 36.6 percent of 279 participants identified as switch, so moving between control and surrender is common.
Are dominants also domineering in everyday life?
Not necessarily. In the Jansen study, dominants scored higher on interpersonal dominance, but not in the markedly elevated range, and they showed the same empathy as submissives and switches. The authors suggested the trait is probably not prominent in daily interactions.
Is being submissive a sign of psychological damage?
The evidence does not suggest so. Dutch and Spanish studies found lower neuroticism and higher well-being among BDSM practitioners than among comparison groups. In a Chinese survey submissives reported higher separation anxiety, but the author stressed this was not a causal link.
Which role reports the highest sexual satisfaction?
In the Italian study by Botta et al. (2019) with 266 participants, dominants and switches were more satisfied than the general population and the submissive group, and role was the only significant predictor of satisfaction. The snowball sample limits generalisation.
Conclusion: A Role Is a Preference, Not a Label
Choosing a dominant, submissive or switch role in a consensual relationship is compatible with good mental health and says nothing about a person’s empathy or worth. What keeps the relationship healthy is honest conversation, clear agreement and the freedom to change roles. In clinical experience, couples who talk openly about these preferences often report deeper intimacy.
Looking for professional support with your relationship or mental health?
Jansen KL, Fried AL, Chamberlain J. An Examination of Empathy and Interpersonal Dominance in BDSM Practitioners. J Sex Med. 2021;18(3):549-555. PMID: 33547018 · DOI: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2020.12.012
Wismeijer AA, van Assen MA. Psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. J Sex Med. 2013;10(8):1943-52. PMID: 23679066 · DOI: 10.1111/jsm.12192
Lecuona O, Martínez-Barajas O, Gimeno-Martín A, et al. Not Twisted, Just Kinky: Replication and Structural Invariance of Attachment, Personality, and Well-Being Among BDSM Practitioners. J Homosex. 2025;72(6):1079-1108. PMID: 39028855 · DOI: 10.1080/00918369.2024.2364891
Botta D, Nimbi FM, Tripodi F, et al. Are Role and Gender Related to Sexual Function and Satisfaction in Men and Women Practicing BDSM? J Sex Med. 2019;16(3):463-473. PMID: 30773495 · DOI: 10.1016/j.jsxm.2019.01.001
Li S. The Psychology of Kink: A Cross-Sectional Survey Investigating the Association Between Adult Attachment Style and BDSM-Related Identity Choice in China. Arch Sex Behav. 2024;53(6):2269-2276. PMID: 38453777
Martinez K. BDSM Role Fluidity: A Mixed-Methods Approach to Investigating Switches Within Dominant/Submissive Binaries. J Homosex. 2018;65(10):1299-1324. PMID: 28854056 · DOI: 10.1080/00918369.2017.1374062
Paarnio M, Sandman N, Källström M, et al. The Prevalence of BDSM in Finland and the Association between BDSM Interest and Personality Traits. J Sex Res. 2023;60(4):443-451. PMID: 34994669 · DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2021.2015745
Freud S. Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality (1905). Standard Edition, Vol. 7. London: Hogarth Press.
Image Credits
Featured image: Photo: Peter Chang / Pexels · In-text image: Photo: Karen_Nadine / Pixabay
