Does an interest in BDSM mean someone was hurt in childhood—or is psychologically unwell today? The short research answer is “no, for most people.” In a national Australian survey of 19,307 adults, people who had practiced BDSM in the previous year were no more likely than others to report a history of sexual coercion, and they were not unhappier or more anxious. In a Dutch study, 902 people involved in BDSM even scored better than a comparison group on several mental-health indicators. These findings do not mean childhood trauma never plays a role; they mean the desire cannot, by itself, be treated as a sign of hidden damage or illness.
This question often enters the therapy room—from Tehran to Toronto—wrapped in shame. Here is what the data show, and where the evidence remains uncertain.
Are people who practice BDSM more psychologically damaged?
The largest population-level evidence comes from an Australian national telephone survey in 2001 and 2002. Richters and colleagues asked 19,307 people aged 16–59 whether they had practiced BDSM in the past year. About 1.8% of sexually active respondents said yes: 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women. This group was not more likely to report a history of sexual coercion, was not significantly unhappier or more anxious, and showed no significant relationship with sexual difficulties. Men who had practiced BDSM even scored lower on psychological distress than other men.
A mask in BDSM is often a tool for play and role-taking, not a cover for a hidden wound — Photo: AlexKlen / Pixabay
The second study comes from the Netherlands. Wismeijer and van Assen administered personality, attachment style, rejection sensitivity, and well-being questionnaires to 902 BDSM participants and 434 people in a comparison group. The BDSM group showed lower neuroticism; higher extraversion, openness to experience, and conscientiousness; lower rejection sensitivity; and higher subjective well-being. Only agreeableness was lower. The researchers proposed viewing BDSM more as recreational leisure than as the expression of a pathological process.
One important limit: the Dutch sample was online and volunteer-based, so people comfortable with their identity likely participated more. The Australian data were self-reported and cross-sectional. These studies therefore do not show that BDSM improves mental health; they only show that the “all are damaged” picture does not fit the data. Dunkley and Brotto likewise regard the psychopathology difference as negligible.
Is childhood trauma the root of this desire?
If trauma were the main root, a clear trace of sexual coercion should appear; the Australian survey found none. Walker and Kuperberg examined entry into BDSM directly through interviews with 96 people and questionnaires with 2,017. Two narratives emerged. Some had discovered the world through film, the internet, pornography, or a partner, and that experience awakened an interest already inside them. Others described it as an inherent personality trait and the result of self-discovery.
Williams and Sprott’s 2022 review shows that frameworks such as “serious leisure,” “sensation seeking,” and “personal growth” fit the data better than a pathologizing assumption. Larva and Rantala’s 2024 evolutionary review places childhood experiences among several proximal factors, alongside sexual conditioning and physiological factors—not as a single cause.
Still, for some people, power play can replay an old wound. Iniewicz and Niebudek, in the Polish Journal of Psychiatry, emphasize that clinicians should assess whether the relationship is consensual and supports growth—or reflects abuse or repetition of trauma. The distinction lies not in the desire itself but in consent and freedom of choice.
What did Freud say about sadism and masochism?
In “Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality” (1905), Freud listed sadism and masochism among the most common perversions, but his larger point was that both are rooted in ordinary sexuality: aggression and submission exist in all human desire, and these two poles are the active and passive faces of one component. In “The Economic Problem of Masochism” (1924), he distinguished erotogenic, “feminine,” and moral masochism. Psychoanalytically, moral masochism—an unconscious need for punishment in daily life—deserves more concern than consensual bedroom play.
Contemporary psychology has moved forward. In the fifth edition of the American diagnostic manual and the World Health Organization’s eleventh classification, an unusual sexual interest is not considered a disorder by itself; the criteria are personal distress, harm, or lack of consent. Larva and Rantala describe this as the removal of sadomasochism from the paraphilic disorders list. Freud’s perspective and current evidence agree: desire alone is not illness.
When is this desire worth discussing with a therapist?
Consider talking with a therapist when the experience is followed by deep shame, emptiness, or fear; when your consent or your partner’s is unclear; or when play revives painful memories. Dunkley and Brotto identify client concealment as one of six clinical challenges: in Jansen and colleagues’ study of 301 people, nearly 40% had experienced discrimination in health care at least once because of their community membership, and more than 20% had concerns they wanted to raise with a physician but did not. Williams and Sprott report elevated suicidal thoughts linked to minority stress—suffering often arises from stigma and concealment, not from the desire itself.
Does an interest in BDSM mean I was abused in childhood?
Not necessarily. In the national Australian survey of 19,307 people, those who had practiced BDSM were no more likely than others to report a history of sexual coercion. For most people, the path into BDSM is a mix of curiosity, media, partner influences, and personality traits. If you do have a history of trauma, exploring it with a professional is worthwhile.
Is BDSM a mental disorder?
In current diagnostic classifications, an unusual sexual interest by itself is not a disorder. It moves toward a clinical concern only when there is significant personal distress, harm to self or others, or behavior without consent.
Why do some studies show better mental health among people who practice BDSM?
In the Dutch study, 902 people involved in BDSM had lower neuroticism and higher well-being than a comparison group. But the sample was online and volunteer-based, and those more comfortable with their identity likely participated more. This finding does not show that BDSM improves mental health; it only challenges the assumption of universal damage.
What signs suggest I should talk with a therapist?
Intense shame or emptiness after an experience, unclear consent, pressure to do something you do not want, or the resurfacing of painful memories. A nonjudgmental therapist familiar with this area can help clarify the difference between play and the repetition of a wound.
Conclusion
Population and psychometric evidence indicate that an interest in BDSM is not, for most people, a sign of childhood trauma or mental illness. What matters is informed consent, how you feel after the experience, and freedom of choice. If you recognize this desire in yourself, you do not need to live with shame; and if part of it is tied to an old pain, that knot can be untied. Knowing yourself and having honest conversations with your partner opens the way to a safer and more intimate relationship.
Looking for professional support with your relationship or mental health?
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