National US surveys show that most adults have tried masturbation, vaginal sex and oral sex, and that many have tried wearing sexy lingerie, sending nude photos, reading erotic stories, watching sexually explicit videos, public sex, role-playing, tying and spanking. Threesomes are less common. More people find these behaviours appealing than have done them, and romantic and affectionate acts rank among the most appealing. These figures are self-reported, cross-sectional and drawn from US samples, so they describe reported behaviour, not meaning.
In a nationally representative US probability sample of 2,021 adults surveyed in 2015, Herbenick et al. (2017) found that more than 80% reported lifetime masturbation, vaginal sex and oral sex.
Lifetime anal sex was reported by 43% of men (insertive) and 37% of women (receptive). Wearing sexy lingerie was reported by 75% of women and 26% of men; sending or receiving digital nude or semi-nude photos by 54% of women and 65% of men; reading erotic stories by 57% of participants; public sex by at least 43%; spanking by at least 30%; role-playing by at least 22%; tying or being tied up by at least 20%; watching sexually explicit videos by 60% of women and 82% of men. Threesomes were reported by 10% of women and 18% of men; group sex, sex parties, a sexuality class or workshop and BDSM parties each sat under 8%.
An earlier nationally representative sample of 5,865 women and men aged 14 to 94 found masturbation common throughout the lifespan and past-year oral sex in more than half of adults aged 18 to 49 (Herbenick et al., 2010).
National statistics describe populations, not any one relationship — Image: AI-generated / Gemini 3.1 Flash via OpenRouter
How Is Finding Something Appealing Different from Doing It?
The same survey found that more Americans found behaviours appealing than had engaged in them, with romantic and affectionate behaviours among the most appealing, and appeal went with greater odds of having tried the behaviour (Herbenick et al., 2017). Interest and experience are therefore linked, though not identical, among the 2,021 adults surveyed.
The survey was cross-sectional and self-reported, so the direction of the association cannot be established. From Freud’s perspective, fantasy and act are two different things and the gap between them is part of how desire is held in check; this is a theoretical interpretation and was not tested in this article. Among the 2,021 adults surveyed in 2015, the appeal of a behaviour accompanied greater odds of having tried it.
What Do the Age-Spanning Data Show?
Herbenick et al. (2010) analysed a nationally representative sample of 5,865 women and men aged 14 to 94. Masturbation was common throughout the lifespan, and more than half of women and men aged 18 to 49 had oral sex in the past year.
These findings complete the layered picture from the 2017 survey: sexual behaviour is not confined to one age group or decade. Both studies rely on self-report, though, and say nothing about motives or satisfaction. The long-term decline in how often Americans have sex is a separate question, covered in our article on the sex recession on this site.
What Do These Numbers Mean for Us?
National frequencies describe how common a behaviour is in a population; they do not define what is normal or desirable for a given couple. A high percentage shows that many people have tried something, not that anyone must. Comparisons between the 2,021 adults surveyed in 2015 and other samples are limited by self-report.
In my clinical observation, many clients treat statistics as a standard of normality instead of a map of awareness and measure themselves against it; this is a clinical impression and does not replace research findings. Our editorial position is that how common a behaviour is in society is no measure of whether it is right or necessary for any couple, and decisions should rest on consent and conversation between both partners. For Iranian readers and immigrant families, US figures sit at a cultural distance. [Needs further review: the data are self-reported and from the US population and cannot be generalised to other societies, including Iran and immigrant families.]
If these numbers cause shame or distress, or a relationship struggles with desire or communication, a specialist can help.
Across these surveys, more than 80% of American adults reported lifetime masturbation, vaginal sex and oral sex. Those numbers describe populations, not couples. Consent, conversation and mutual attention are what a relationship rests on, and those are capacities people can strengthen with support.
What share of Americans have tried masturbation and oral sex?
In the nationally representative 2015 survey of 2,021 adults, more than 80% reported lifetime masturbation, vaginal sex and oral sex; the data are cross-sectional and self-reported (Herbenick et al., 2017).
Does finding a behaviour appealing mean people do it?
Not necessarily. In Herbenick et al. (2017), more Americans found behaviours appealing than had tried them, although appeal went with greater odds of having tried a behaviour.
Which behaviours did people find most appealing?
In the same survey, romantic and affectionate behaviours were among the most appealing.
What do these numbers mean for couples?
They are a map of awareness, not a standard of normality. Decisions rest on consent and conversation, and US figures cannot be generalised to Iran or other societies.
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Herbenick D, Bowling J, Fu TJ, et al. Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PLoS One. 2017;12(7):e0181198. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0181198. PMID: 28727762. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28727762/
Herbenick D, Reece M, Schick V, et al. Sexual behavior in the United States: results from a national probability sample of men and women ages 14-94. J Sex Med. 2010;7 Suppl 5:255-65. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02012.x. PMID: 21029383. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21029383/
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Featured and in-text images: AI-generated / Gemini 3.1 Flash via OpenRouter. AI-generated images. No real person is depicted.
