Long-distance relationships are among the most challenging types of romantic relationships. Geographic distance, the absence of physical contact, and constant uncertainty can wear down even the strongest emotions.
Written by Mark Manson | Filed Under: Dating Advice, Relationships
Long-distance relationships (LDRs) are tough. Whether your partner lives in another city, state, or country, maintaining a strong connection can feel overwhelming. Many people ask: “Is this person worth waiting for?”, “Do they feel the same way?”, or “Am I kidding myself thinking this can work?”
From personal experience, Mark Manson shares actionable tips to survive and even thrive in a long-distance relationship.
One of the biggest challenges in long-distance relationships is uncertainty. Not knowing when you’ll see each other next or how your partner feels can create anxiety and doubt.
Solution: Always plan milestones together. This could be your next visit, vacations, moving in the same city, or other major life events. A shared goal gives your relationship purpose and direction.
Remember: Relationships grow when there’s a common trajectory. Without it, couples can drift apart.
2. Be Slow to Judge
Distance can distort perceptions. Partners may assume the worst or idealize each other’s personalities because they aren’t seeing the full picture.
Tips:
Avoid overthinking minor issues.
Don’t jump to conclusions about jealousy or misunderstandings.
Communicate openly about feelings instead of letting assumptions take over.
Manson’s advice: “Absence makes the heart psychotic.” Stay grounded and honest with your partner.
3. Make Communication Optional, Not Obligatory
Many LDRs impose strict rules for daily calls or messages. While communication is essential, forcing it can backfire.
Key points:
Talk when you genuinely want to, not out of obligation.
Allow space for personal time and hobbies.
Avoid overexposure that leads to resentment or unnecessary arguments.
Optional communication respects both partners’ needs and prevents forced interactions from hurting the relationship.
4. Ensure the Distance is Temporary
Long-distance relationships cannot survive without hope and a shared vision for the future.
Strategies:
Align life goals, values, and interests.
Set a realistic timeline for closing the distance.
Make logistical commitments to be together when possible.
Without a shared path forward, even the strongest love can feel meaningless.
5. Accept the Limits of Long-Distance Intimacy
True intimacy develops through day-to-day interaction and shared space. LDRs can’t fully replicate this.
Reality check:
You may idealize your partner and overlook differences.
Real intimacy both passionate and mundane is built by being physically present.
Long-distance requires patience and acceptance of the relationship’s limitations.
Can it work? Yes. Does it work? Usually, no. But trying teaches you about commitment, self-awareness, and intimacy.
Final Thoughts
Long-distance relationships are not impossible, but they demand effort, trust, communication, and a shared vision for the future. By planning milestones, avoiding assumptions, respecting communication needs, and working toward a shared life, couples can survive the distance and sometimes thrive.
Even if the relationship doesn’t last, you gain valuable lessons about yourself and relationships.
